Absurdities (PG-13)

Guy Who Tattooed the Romney “R” on His Face Intends to Get the Tattoo Removed, Calling Romney a “Sore Loser”

November 29, 2012

““It stands not only for a losing campaign but for a sore loser,” Hartsburg said. “There’s no dignity in blaming somebody else for buying votes and paying off people. I can’t get behind that or stay behind that.””

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Oregon Father and his two Adult Children charged with robbing several Banks in Texas

November 18, 2012

“Ronald Catt, 50, and his son Hayden Catt, 20 and daughter Abigail Catt, 18, were arrested Nov. 9 after allegedly robbing a Katy, Texas bank Oct. 1. The family is originally from Oregon.”

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Distraught Florida Man reportedly wrote “F*** Obama” on his Will then committed suicide

November 15, 2012

“64-year-old Henry Hamilton of Key West was found dead last Thursday next to two empty prescription bottles. His will was also found nearby; the words “f*ck Obama” were reportedly scrawled over it.”

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Arizona Woman Blames Husband for Obama’s Re-Election, Tries to Run Him Over with Her Jeep

November 13, 2012

“Daniel’s presidential preference likely wouldn’t have mattered much to Romney: He won Arizona by a margin of some 200,000 votes.”

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Donald Trump is freaking out on Twitter, labeling the Election a “travesty” and calling for a revolution

November 7, 2012

Trump: This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!

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Vice President Biden: As they say in my business, I’m going to give you the whole load today

October 31, 2012

What business are you speaking of, Mr. Vice President?

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NYPD Officer arrested for plotting to kidnap, cook, and eat Women using a Crime Database and Dating Websites

October 25, 2012

“Six-year NYPD veteran Gilberto Valle, 28, who worked in Harlem, was arrested Wednesday by federal officers on a conspiracy to kidnap charge Wednesday.”

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New Jersey Man stripped down, defecated in a police car and ate his own finger while under the influence of PCP

October 24, 2012

“Authorities say they found Jargget Washington, 29, nude and belligerent at a Jersey City intersection around 8:00 p.m. on Sunday night. He allegedly “tried pulling a driver out of a car,” but the driver managed to fight back, according to the New York Daily News.”

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U.S. Secret Service Agent arrested early Friday morning after he was found passed out drunk on a sidewalk in Miami

October 12, 2012

“U.S. Secret Service agent Aaron Francis Engler was found early Friday morning passed out on the sidewalk near the intersection of Brickell Avenue and 7th just hours after President Barack Obama had left South Florida.”

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Kellogg’s recalls Frosted Mini-Wheats Cereal over possible metal fragments

October 11, 2012

“The recall covers roughly 282,000 cases of Frosted Mini-Wheats Bite Size Original and Mini-Wheats Unfrosted Bite Size cereal with the letters KB, AP or FK before or after the best-before date.”

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TSA invasively pats-down Woman dying from Cancer, refusing her requests for a private screening

October 10, 2012

“Michelle Dunaj says screeners checked under bandages from recent surgeries and refused to give her a private search when she requested one.”

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Boston Man arrested at Los Angeles International Airport carrying body armor, a smoke grenade, three leather-coated Billy clubs…

October 10, 2012

“…, a collapsible baton, a full-face respirator, various knives, a hatchet, body bags, a biohazard suit, handcuffs, leg irons and a device to repel dogs”

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Maine Democratic State Senate Candidate Colleen Lachowicz criticized for comments she made… while playing World of Warcraft

October 10, 2012

“Other postings use curse words and make to the joy of “stab[bing] things,” joke about “being in a Socialist guild” and admit to “seriously slacking off at work.””

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Liquid Nitrogen Cocktail nearly kills a British Teen

October 9, 2012

“Gaby Scanlan was celebrating her 18th birthday at a Lancaster bar in Northern England when she became “breathless” and experienced severe stomach pain after drinking a Jagermeister digestif made with liquid nitrogen.”

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Texas Teen describes killing his mother and sister to a 911 Operator during a 25-minute conversation

October 5, 2012

“During a nearly 25-minute call to 911, a 17-year-old calmly describes shooting his mother and younger sister to death in their North Texas home.”

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